Perhaps you wonder if your family member is a “hoarder.” You may even harbor secret fears about yourself! We all have cherished possessions. From trophies to teacups. Spare buttons to cans of half-used paint.

​There’s a reason rivalries resurface when siblings share in elder care. According to Francine Russo, author of They’re Your Parents, Too!, the trigger is an awareness that time is running out. It often hinges on the desire to resolve unconscious needs for parental attention. Perhaps it’s a need to feel as important as another sibling. Or to feel forgiven. Or to feel capable.