How I Was Able To Care For An Aging Parent Without Going Crazy

This is a guest post by Gina M, a client of Eldercare Specialists.

We all have busy lives and sometimes we need help balancing our responsibilities to our immediate family, ourselves, and our aging parents. I know I sure did!

I was faced with just that quandary when my mom’s health started to decline. I was burning the metaphorical candle on both ends. I felt torn between my responsibility as a daughter and my responsibility as an employee, mother and wife. 

​​I had to take a hard look at whether there was a way to honor both our desires and I found it through the services provided by Eldercare Specialists. But how did I do it?

The first step was to recognize, what’s most important to my mom and to me and find a middle ground.

For both of us, this was to maintain quality of life. Additionally, I wanted to alleviate my stress and not feel I was now responsible for her 24/7. I felt assisted living was the best option we had. At least she’d be looked after, have social interaction, and wouldn’t have to prepare her own meals.

My mother, on the other hand, was insistent on living independently at her home. She believed going to assisted living would not only require her to give up all control over how she wanted to live out her golden years, but also would be akin to dying a slow painful death. Her doctor said she could live at home as long as I provided some financial oversight. While she needed some assistance with Dr. Appointments, home safety support and eyes on assessments, she wasn’t wandering off or any real danger to herself if she stayed home. 

Once mom and I were clear on what we each were thinking, and most importantly, our underlying fears, we could look at what other options might be out there to satisfy both of us.

The second step was to identify service providers who could fulfill both our needs, and in our case go beyond those to ensure quality of life as her circumstances evolved.

I spoke to people I knew who had similar challenges; I spoke to her Doctor. I looked up companies who provided services in her area and I can tell you Eldercare Services were miracle workers.

This is a group of warm, caring, committed professionals who came in and really took the time to understand what each of us wanted as well as anticipate and planned for needs we would have over time. They were respectful of my mom’s desire to live life on her own terms, at home, safely, and give me a peace of mind knowing she was well cared for. Not only did her Care Manager ensure she understood my mom’s desires, medical condition, and constraints, but she also listened to my concerns and desires and developed and implemented a care plan that met both our needs.

In addition, as my mom’s health declined over the years her Care Manager continued to stay on top of her needs including helping identify and vet professional care givers who could provide assistance with her daily needs in a respectful, conscientious and non-intrusive manner. It was like having an extended family who provided loving compassionate care.

I’m convinced that my mom had 10 years of quality life as a result of us engaging Eldercare Specialists. I hope you have an equally rewarding experience knowing you are honoring your aging parent’s needs and desires.