Home for the Holidays

Are you planning to visit your loved one over the holidays?

We all know the holidays can be a stressful time for both you and your loved ones. To help navigate these times with greater ease, take a moment and consider what expectations would best serve you and your loved this holiday season.

It’s natural for many of us to be surprised when we visit a loved one in person. We may notice things that weren’t apparent in a phone call or on video conference once we’re around them for an extended period of time. Perhaps they seem more forgetful or you might notice they aren’t as sure-footed, you may also notice that you have to speak more loudly.

Here are a few tips to help make this holiday visit more positive for each of you.

1. Visit with the intent of making this an enjoyable experience for your loved one. That includes honoring their lifestyle and independence in whatever form it takes (within reasonable safety guard rails).
   
   
2. Use your senses to help you assess where your assistance might be the most welcome.
   a. Perhaps their mobility or balance has declined since you last visited and they would appreciate an offer of assistance decorating their space or relocating frequently used items to a lower shelf in the same closet.
   b. Maybe they love burning candles to create a festive mood. Those old wick burning candles may pose a fire hazard. Consider suggesting picking up some safer battery-operated candles to give that warm ambience in the evening without the worry of a fire.
   c. Is the TV or music blaring louder than you remember? it might be time to have their hearing assessed. They likely haven’t noticed. Research has shown that untreated hearing loss can lead to cognitive decline, social isolation and depression as well as other health-related risks such as impaired balance and risk of falls. Have a discussion to explore what they may be open to exploring, including the possibility of hearing assistance devices
   d. If you notice your loved one isn’t as mindful of what’s cooking on that gas stove or you discover burned pots, it might be time to look at an induction cooking appliance, a meal service, or a companion/care giver to lend a help
   
   
3. Check the status of safety items in the home. Are there grab bars needed in the bathroom? Is it time to switch out batteries in smoke and CO2 detectors if they aren’t hardwired in? Are all routes of egress operable including the garage door? Is there a light source easily available in the event of a power outage? Is the most current emergency contact information posted in a visible spot.
   
   
4. Practice gratitude. Yes, they may be sharing the same story for the 100th time. That’s ok. Don’t berate them or tell them they already told you that. Strive to look at the positive side if you notice you are worried, frustrated, or fearful. Some things you might be grateful for could be that my loved one:
    - can live independently or in the manner they choose
    - is still with us
    - provided me with the best upbringing they knew how
    - loves me
   
   
5. Practice self-care and self-compassion. Give yourself permission to do things that will rejuvenate you. This might mean sleeping at a near-by hotel, taking a walk mid-day, carving out some “me time.”
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6. Most of all, strive to demonstrate you really cherish them

The biggest gift you can give your loved one this holiday season is the gift of your time and attention.