Balancing Caring for Elderly Parent with Work and Family

Life presents many challenges from taking care of our parents or loved ones to putting food on the table. 

During these unusually challenging times requiring “shelter-in-place,” social distancing, home-schooling, working from home, and more, it is normal to feel anxious, overwhelmed or exhausted.

Resilience, our ability to bounce back when we feel derailed, is critical to enabling us to not only survive but thrive and grow.

​How can you build your resilience and tackle overwhelm?

The first step is to recognize how you experience stress.

You might experience

• Unabated feelings of sadness, self-criticism, fear, isolation or an uncontrollable urge to cry
• Feeling unable to cope with jobs or tasks that were once easy
• Increased level of upset, irritability, impatience with your loved ones or others
• A sense of being on a deserted island-alone and unsure
• Indecisiveness,  feeling frozen or stuck, can’t get organized or easily distracted
• Feeling scared of what others will think, over worrying
• Exhausted, depleted, beaten down

Once you have a good idea of the signs, and understand the causes and that you aren’t alone in these feelings, that these can be quite normal, you can take some simple actions to help you bounce back.

These include:

• Share what’s going on with someone you trust who is a positive force for you—it’s surprisingly helpful to give voice to what you’re feeling and helps bring perspective
• Establish a self-care routine that includes healthy eating, exercise and sleep
• Do something enjoyable—a warm bath/shower, cup of tea, soft music, breathing exercise
• Learn to slow down and “take a pause” to gain perspective. This can be as simple as taking three deep breathes and telling yourself “I am grateful for ___”.
• Tune into the positive things that happen each day—maybe it was a smile on a loved one’s face, an encouraging word, or organizing your desk
• Connect with yourself and others in meaningful ways—don’t isolate or bury yourself in work; reflect on what gives your life meaning and purpose
• Start a mindfulness practice—just 10 or 15 minutes of meditation or yoga helps calm your nervous system
• If the news increases your level of stress, manage your media/social feeds to ensure high quality and reduce the frequency you check
• Pursue alternative ways of staying connected and maintain important communication lines-be creative with virtual card games or “Battleship”
• Focus on the things that are within your control and your highest 1-2 priorities only. Think of your “to do list” as a merely a memory jogger to pick one from to focus on first.
• Jot down, and post if you’re a visual person, two to three things you accomplished each day. This could be walking the dog, calling a loved one, helping your child with a problem
• Identify at least one thing or person you feel grateful for, and share.

Know that nurturing yourself is not selfish - it's essential to your survival and wellbeing. Just like on an airplane, it is important to put your oxygen mask on first so you are able to help others.

We are here to help.

If you need support helping your loved ones, our professional care managers have the passion, breath, and depth of experience to help you through these challenging time. 

Call 415-259-4864 today to schedule a free 30 minute consultation.

I would like to thank my leadership coach and business management consultant Carmen Acton, for her assistance in writing this blog for Eldercare.   

Carmen Acton, MBA , MS, PCC, NLP
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