Perhaps you wonder if your family member is a “hoarder.” You may even harbor secret fears about yourself! We all have cherished possessions. From trophies to teacups. Spare buttons to cans of half-used paint.

​There’s a reason rivalries resurface when siblings share in elder care. According to Francine Russo, author of They’re Your Parents, Too!, the trigger is an awareness that time is running out. It often hinges on the desire to resolve unconscious needs for parental attention. Perhaps it’s a need to feel as important as another sibling. Or to feel forgiven. Or to feel capable.

It’s natural to want to help when your loved one can no longer drive. But it may not be realistic. Smart caregivers learn to delegate things that can be done by others. Only you can provide the love of a family member. Transportation is something others can do.

The changes to Medicare for 2011 provide your loved one with several free prevention services. The idea is to catch major health problems early by lowering the cost for screenings.